In 10 years I’ll look back to 2020 with gratitude. At the beginning of this year I had little hope or motivation to live. This manifested in habitual drug use and anger and resentment towards my loved ones.
Not only has this year provided me a chance to look at myself with a new perspective, it has reignited my passion for life and empowered me with a vision that prior to this year I couldn’t have dreamt of.
When I was deep into my habitual drug use I believed my best course of action was to disconnect from my family and friends.
I was too ashamed to talk to people of my past and try to connect with them, for fear of the harm I caused them.
My sister-in-law felt my presence was damaging to her daughter, my niece Eevee.
I was more disconnected from my brothers and sister then ever before.
I fought with my My Mom and Dad constantly and they wanted me out of the house.
A part of me thought that living on the streets, or even death, away from all my loved ones, would be the best use of my life. If I went my own way, no longer would I be able to harm them.
Today, I’m closer with my family. I am a positive influence on my niece. I am closer to my brother than we have been since we were children. I am eternally grateful for my parents and everything they have gone through to support me. And I’m beginning to mend relationships of the past.
Most importantly, I finally see that my presence can be a positive influence on the lives of the people I love.